i’m gonna say it

8 May

i’m pissed.

daddyjay talked to our realtor 2 nights ago & she said people love our house, BUT they don’t like the neighborhood.

i’m the first person to say that i love my neighborhood & i have the best neighbors. we are really sad to leave such a great place.


i live in university city, mo. this is a town divided. hell, st. louis is a pretty cliquey & socially divided place, in general.

ever heard of the old “what school did you go to?” line? no? in st. louis, people peg your socio-economic status by where you went to high school. there are a ton of private schools here & many people judge you based on where you went to school. a lot of people who live in university city use private schools.

a lot.

in the 2000 census, roughly 50% of the people in u city were white. about 45% were black. in our school district last year, 11% of the students were white.


census info has probably not changed that drastically in 9 years.

now to the heart of the matter. i live a half a block from my high school. people don’t like my neighborhood because they don’t want their kids that close to so many black people.

and it pisses me off.

not as the seller of my house, but as a human being. i was talking to one of my beloved (and lesbian – egads!) neighbors about it last night and we were both astounded that people still live this way. people live with these latent (or not so latent) views of the world.

and a lot of the people looking at our house are from out of town, so their realtors are giving them this bunk information. and that upsets me even further.

scout was just telling me last night that she didn’t want to move to phoenix because she didn’t want to leave their best friend, piper. piper is black. i love that the girls don’t see that as a hurdle. it is what it is, to them. as they told me last week, “she just has more melatonin in her skin.”

that’s it.

more melatonin.

while i know moving to phoenix won’t solve all of my problems when it comes to society and the racism that i see here, i can say that i’m happy to leave the cliques behind. i’m happy to leave the racism.

but i’m so sad to leave piper.


9 Responses to “i’m gonna say it”

  1. Russ May 17, 2009 at 10:52 am #

    I totally understand….. But it is their lost and the will missing out on have some awesome neighbor!!!! Russ

  2. tracey May 15, 2009 at 6:56 pm #

    Well, technically, a realtor could lose their license for providing any information on the ethnic percentages, etc. of an area. But any person can find the demographics online. It’s not that difficult. If you find that potential clients are being turned away BECAUSE of a realtor, that realtor SHOULD lose their license.

    Sorry she has to leave Piper. Leaving friends is so sad….

  3. anymommy May 14, 2009 at 8:46 pm #

    This kind of thing drives me insane. The more we talk about it, I hope the more it gets chipped away, tiny bit by bit.

  4. Mocha Dad May 14, 2009 at 1:17 pm #

    My wife is from St. Louis and she has told me similar tales of race relations.

  5. singlemomseeking May 12, 2009 at 1:06 pm #

    I really appreciate this post. Thanks so much.

    I’ve been writing A LOT about house-hunting in northern California recently. I’m the white mom of a biracial kid. I almost bid on a home this month…. but changed my mind at the last minute because it didn’t feel safe for a single mom who’s living alone.

    Yes, the neighborhood has many African-American families — yet this only influenced my decision even MORE to want this house because I want us to live in a diverse hood that looks like OUR family. (I walked around and talked to many of the neighbors.)

    Yet, there’s a drug-selling block up the street (where folks of all races come to buy…).

    I’m really curious to know why your Realtor said this about your neighborhood. Why don’t you ask her what she REALLY means?

  6. cathygaubert May 12, 2009 at 1:10 am #

    oh, love that scout…what a smart, sensible girl.
    and piper…what a special girl to have such a friend.
    and i’m sad, too.
    i’m wishing you the best of outcomes with all of the junk. grrrr. people can be so very dumb.


  7. sonrie May 11, 2009 at 9:49 am #

    I like to mostly blame the realtor’s. However, I am not a realtor, nor is anyone in my family, so perhaps it would be interesting to hear from a/some realtor(s) to see who/what they blame. I hate the racism, too. In my idealized mind, wouldn’t a neighborhood be wonderful if it had a mix of ethnicities, religions, cultures, family types?

    Good luck — I hope it will sell soon.

    PS -hope you had a wonderful Mother’s day!

  8. Captain Dumbass May 9, 2009 at 9:37 pm #

    It’s crazy that people still think that way. Move to Vancouver, we’re a lot more laid back when it comes to race. And sexuality. Not that I’m saying racism doesn’t exist here, but nowhere near as divisive as it is there.

  9. kayris May 8, 2009 at 2:25 pm #

    I live in a city that is over 60% black. In fact, other than pre-Katrina New Orleans, no city has a higher percentage of black residents. Friends who are not city residents react oddly, practically clutching their purses when a black man walks down tne street. And frankly, I don;t get it. Aren’t we all the same underneath?

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