my blogher post (if i was going to blogher, here’s what i would do, but i’m not. so. there’s that.)

8 Jul

let’s just pretend i’m gong to blogher this year. it will help me get my mind off of the fact that 3 kids have mono, 1 of those kids has altitude sickness & is homesick to the max, and i’m moving in 2 days. (not to mention the 21 zits/pimples that are on my face right now.)

here is my list of all things blogher.

1. laundry. i’m not buying clothes. i have a perfectly fine allotment of wearables already & am already spending, like $700 (pretend) dollars to go to blogher. never mind the shopping i might do in chicago. and the food i’d like to eat. (yes, i know that i just listed a bunch of restaurants that my boyfriend, anthony bourdain, went to when he was there.)

2. i will be taking flip flops. that is all.

3. if i wear a dress, it will be a sundress that i already own. otherwise, i might wear some cotton skirts or shorts & tshirts or tank tops. i’m not fancy.

4. i might get a little fancy & put on jewelry. you know, since i can’t wear it with a baby around.

5. i’m gonna hug everyone! and i expect to be hugged back, but please, oh please, don’t lick me. i don’t like being licked. my son does it all. the. time. and i can’t stand it.

6. i may have a drink a day. i had 2 newcastles last friday & was hungover on saturday. it sucked. i’m a lightweight. i don’t mind. if you want my (pretend) drink tickets, i’ll give them to you, but please don’t ralph on my flip flops.

7. i won’t have business cards. i blog for fun & community & those things cost (pretend) money. which is something i don’t have much of at the moment.

8. i’ve got no problem pooping anywhere, so i’ll be dropping bombs roughly 30 minutes after i wake up every morning. no more, no less. i will bring some smelly-good stuff so i don’t assault anyone’s nose with my (non-existent) odors.

9. i may, or may not dance. i don’t usually dance, although i can and was once the captain of the dance team in school, but it’s just not something i do much anymore. i like a choreographed routine. i’m not much for freestyling. maybe next year mochamomma & i can hook something up.

10. i will, however, karaoke my ass off.

11. i can’t wait to meet all of you! even if i don’t read your blog, i may like to add another 143 blogs to my reader, so say hi if you see me! i’m very friendly & don’t bite.



8 Responses to “my blogher post (if i was going to blogher, here’s what i would do, but i’m not. so. there’s that.)”

  1. Mocha July 20, 2009 at 9:52 pm #

    I’m quite positive that something could be worked out and seeing as we have a whole year before the next one perhaps you can start working on a routine…? Something with high kicks and lots of hip thrusts?


    (On the serious, you will be missed and I can’t believe the kind of month you’ve had. Love you LOTS.)


  2. cIII July 12, 2009 at 10:12 am #

    I would totally Karaoke with you. Garbage Man…or, Boogers on the Wall, perhaps?

    I’ll bring the Solid Gold one-y.

  3. Maria July 9, 2009 at 5:07 pm #

    You’d also be smoking with me. Just sayin’….


  4. Carolyn Online July 9, 2009 at 3:27 pm #

    Moving and SICK kids? Um, which of the gods did you piss off?

    I’ll “see” you at Blogher and will steal your drink tickets and give you hugs.

  5. MP July 9, 2009 at 11:44 am #

    ummm Anythony Bourdain is MY boyfriend. I have never gone to blogher.. If I were going I would have on flip flops too..or my chucks..and I’d use your drink tickets..

  6. sonrie July 9, 2009 at 8:37 am #

    Good luck on the move, and with the sick kids!

    And I’d like to think otherwise, but really, after a glass of wine (esp. too fast or without food), I need to rehydrate, too. Same on #8 on your list. Like clockwork.

  7. Kayris July 8, 2009 at 6:42 pm #

    MWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH….this is hysterical. I’m not going to BlogHer either, altho I am so jealous of all that swag!

  8. Mommy Melee July 8, 2009 at 3:17 pm #

    I want to go to Moto SO bad cause of Anthony Bourdain.

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