my dear john letter

6 Nov

dearest friend,

we’ve had a beautiful relationship. really, we have, but it’s time to go our separate ways. it’s not you, it’s me. well, that’s not entirely true. it’s not even remotely true. it’s you. there, i said it. i want to break up with you. it’s been long enough & our codependent relationship is doing me no good.

sure, i devoted my entire 8th grade science fair project to you. i painstakingly melted paraffin, dyed it & molded it in your honor. i spent many night researching your existence. i wanted to know more about you and when i was made fun of because i chose to study you, i held my head high because i was proud of all i had learned.

you never left my side in high school. popping up here and there. i took you to parties, dances, movies, camp. we had fun, no?

you’ve been there with me through 3 pregnancies. oh, man, were you there for me when i was pregnant with the girls. you were a constant companion, but i really didn’t need you hanging around anymore.

i cherish those memories. i truly do, but it’s time we parted. see, i’m an adult now and i don’t need you anymore. hell, i really never needed you, but there wasn’t much i could do about that, now was there? and i’ll remember you forever. the fact that i no longer have the porcelain skin of my childhood will remind me of our life together.

so please, zit-on-my-chin-that-keeps-coming-back-every-month-since-7th-grade, go away. i just can’t take it anymore. i don’t ever want to see you again. if you chose to never come back i’d be okay with that. we’ll always have the memories.


hugs and kisses,



2 Responses to “my dear john letter”

  1. tara November 13, 2009 at 7:25 pm #

    Yah. No one tells you they never go away

  2. april m November 12, 2009 at 2:15 pm #

    This cracked me up! We all have one don’t we?

    My daughter (she’s 9) and I sing bock, bock chicken all of the time 🙂

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