i can’t not engage, but i really don’t wanna

31 Dec

in the last few days 2 pretty big twitter/blog/internet drama-thingies* have happened. i know a person involved in one of these instances. they are my friend, my sibling, part of my life, internet or real, take your pick.

these issues are about love and weight and while i have many opinions on love and weight, i don’t necessarily post my hateful bile on the web because it’s what i think. nor will i post any trollish comments on people’s blogs. it’s not my style. i will, however, post my opinions in my own space.

situation #1: the weight story.

i have posted before about where i am in my life with my own body. this vessel of mine is mine and it’s a pretty darn good one. it’s my job to take care of it and i’ve recently fallen off the wagon for one reason or another. my weight hasn’t changed, but the shape has and i want to change it for ME, no one else, but me. in taking back control of the things i eat and the activity i do (mostly my lack of activity,) i will also be doing a great service to my family because, as i’ve said before, i want to be able to play with them and have fun with them. i still think i need to dance more with them in the kitchen.

there were some very rude things said in the section of one’s personal coming out as a plus-sized woman & i just want to shout: KEEP YOUR RUDE OPINIONS TO YOURSELF. just because we have blogs doesn’t mean we expect people to be assholes. you can get your point across without being rude and obnoxious. if you find yourself getting riled up when posting comments, take a step back, do something else for 30 minutes to chill before you post your comments. you may find you change what you’ve said based on removing yourself from the situation.

remember the golden rule?

you could learn a lot from what we learned in kindergarten. how hard is it for people to be nice? i’ve seen people say horrible things about each other and i just don’t understand why people feel the need to project such hatred online. isn’t it more stressful to be mean? is there science out there backing this up? if not, get me a grant, yo! my hypothesis is this: you will die sooner if you are mean.

situation #2: a love story.

not my business. end of story. my previous mentions of golden rules & not name-calling & stepping away from the situation apply. marriage and divorce should not be taken lightly, but if it isn’t your marriage or your divorce, zip it. you have no say (hear that, california, maine & arizona, et al!!??!!)

all said, i’m here to meet people, to connect, to grow as a person, to support people who do become my friends, my family, even. i’m not here to demonize or bash, whether i agree with one’s choices or not. that’s not my job. my job is to say what’s on my mind, and do it in a way that no one gets hurt. (remember? golden rule, folks.) because when other people hurt, so do i. i’m part of the human race and when one of you hurts and you reach out, i’m here to support you, love you, and hold your hand.

i don’t take sides.

i love you all and want all of you to be happy without maliciously hurting other people.

can we all try in the new year to not take sides? to love one another? if not love one another, than at least be civil? i think it would help an awful lot.

*yes, i didn’t link to the posts(SSSSS) in question. i did this on purpose.


6 Responses to “i can’t not engage, but i really don’t wanna”

  1. Mommy Melee January 4, 2010 at 5:36 pm #

    Both of them were too exhausting to chime in on, even for me. 😉

  2. Barb January 3, 2010 at 11:23 am #

    I completely agree. If you don’t like what someone says on their blog you are perfectly within your right to STOP READING IT! No need to be ugly ~ although I think it makes somepeople feel better about themselves to put other people down. Definitely don’t need those people in my life.

  3. Carolyn Online January 2, 2010 at 5:43 pm #

    Me either. I have no idea what the drama is. I am either staying above the fray or woefully out of touch.

  4. tara December 31, 2009 at 7:19 pm #

    I guess this proves just how out of the loop I am. I have no idea what you are talking about.
    But I liked what you had to say. Universal.
    And about being in better shape. I hear ya. Now, what am I going to do about it?

  5. sonrie December 31, 2009 at 6:15 pm #

    One of the most compelling reasons for me to watch what I eat is the remembrance that our bodies are vessels for whole and healthy foods. Do it for yourself, or for your children’s weddings… 🙂 Just feel good about curves!

    Happy New Years’!

  6. Kayris December 31, 2009 at 11:00 am #

    Having been staying away from Twitter lately, I’m not sure what you are talking about. But i think the Internet, while a great place for info and solace, is also a place where you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you take care of yourself and exercise and don’t eat certain foods, someone will tell you that you are narcissistic and snobby. ANd if you are overweight, someone else will call you ugly names. You can’t win. That’s why i agree with you. Do it for YOURSELF, because you’ll never please 100% of the everyone else.

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