Tag Archives: maddie

525,600 minutes

6 Apr

fuck, i don’t even know what to say.

i want to run to the top of camelback mountain and curse at the clouds.
i want to scratch the sun from the sky, for who needs it?
i want to grab the stars from the sky and weave them up tight to blind the truth.

trying to imagine the unimaginable loss of your own baby is numbing. it stops you in your tracks. it takes your breath away.
living it is an infinity’s amount worse than you thought it might be.

my mama lost her first baby 3 hours after she was born to a birth defect she found out about a week before she had sweet baby dorrie lou.
she never did talk about it much, but when i ask her to tell my older sister’s story, she’s more than happy to tell me what i wonder about.

heather tells maddie’s story every day with grace, beauty, dignity, love, and a heart full to bursting with such sorrow. i send all the love i can to her and mike and their families tonight, before i wake up on the 7th to face the day that many of us have come to dread for them.

i love you guys and will never forget your maddie.


happy birthday

11 Nov

i woke to see heather’s post about maddie’s birthday when jilly came over to me & sighed, “she’s cute!”

indeed she is, my dear.

i remember the first time i saw her glorious face, i was struck dumb by her beauty.

and that beauty will remain forever.

in the hearts and minds of those who love and miss her, she will remain, for she is no longer here.

she’ll miss this birthday with her mama & daddy. she only had one with them and it was spectacular. full of cream puffs and love.

heather and mike love her with such fierceness, longing, and grace. i wish contented peace for them today while the celebrate such a beauty.

happy birthday, baby girl.

(click over to heather’s page to see pics of maddie. i couldn’t find one that i had permission to use.)